


My first kiss

by sugarandhoneytea



Category: South Park
Genre: Crushes, First Kiss, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, OCs appear, Pining, Why did I do this? My friends asked for it., Yearning, and by mild I mean chris is why we have strict dress codes, and gregory has oh-so-scandolously exposed his ankle, baby's first slowburn, christophe acts like a victorian gentleman, fellas is it gay to bust a nut over how your friend smells?, grinding in the closet, homoerotic tension, i'm back on my shit, slow dancing with no room for jesus, they're both disasters but christophe is WORSE, this time there's no angst except christophe's idiot brain, wendy and bebe show up sometimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:28:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23804626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarandhoneytea/pseuds/sugarandhoneytea
Summary: An assassination mission results in Gregory and Christophe's friendship being called into question. Do they want more? Yes, they do. Are they going to do something about it? Probably not.
Relationships: Bebe Stevens/Wendy Testaburger, Christophe "The Mole"/Gregory of Yardale, Taylor Dawnwater/Rowan redacted
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	1. Went a little like this

Gregory led Christophe onto the dancefloor. They were on a mission to kill the host of this party, But Christophe was being difficult as usual.

"The suit is itchy." He whispered, taking Gregory's hand and putting his other hand on Gregory's waist.

"Quiet you. Be thankful I didn't make you wear the dress." Gregory whispered back, adjusting Christophe's hand to the proper position. 

"You'd never. You love wearing dresses." Christophe teased as they began to dance with the rest of the crowd. Gregory's steps were trained and sure, even in heels, so he led the dance with Christophe clumsily following along. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the host of the party, their target. With confidence, he led Christophe silently out of the crowd and into a nearby hall where they could make the final preparations.

Gregory checked his gun, with Christophe keeping an eye out for anyone who might sabotage them.

"Angel, security coming." Christophe warned. In his Panic, Gregory hid the gun between his and Christophe's stomachs and, to explain the closeness, he kissed the frenchman.

Ah, such an intoxicating sensation. Christophe let out a low whine at how chaste and _not enough_ this kiss was. He pressed Gregory closer to the wall, desperate and hungry for more. His fingers tangled into those luscious blonde curls, deepening the kiss as that beautiful, _beautiful_ smell of roses was stirred up. Christophe began to murmur praises in french, not that Gregory could understand a word of what he was saying.

Christophe shivered as he felt Gregory's hand in his own hair, allowing the blonde to take back control. As they shifted, the gun began to slip, not that either of them noticed in their desperation to quench their savage thirst for the other. It wasn't until the gun nearly fell that Gregory yanked on Christophe's hair to stop him and grab the weapon before it clattered to the floor.

Christophe was dizzy, and breathing heavily as he leaned against the opposite wall. Gregory's hands quivered as he set the gun on a nearby shelf so that he didn't drop it himself.

"... Greg, I-" Chris began, but Gregory held up his hand to stop him.

"I know...." Gregory breathed. "I know. Let's just do our job."

"... Yeah..." Christophe murmured.

"Is the getaway car in position?" Greg asked, loading his gun up.

"Yes. I checked a few minutes ago."

"Wait for me there. If I don't come out in ten minutes, leave without me." Gregory set a timer on his watch, and Christophe did the same.

"Don't get caught." Christophe said before leaving the building. Gregory headed off, disguised among the crowd as he went up the stairs to find the target.

* * *

With only seconds to spare, Gregory made it back to the car and hopped in, with no gun in hand.

"Where the _hell_ were you!?" Christophe demanded as he helped Gregory get in.

"Just bloody drive!" Gregory snapped. At his command, Christophe floored the gas pedal and they sped away. Gregory breathed heavily, tired from running in 6-inch heels.

"How did you make it with the shoes on!? And again, where the FUCK were you!!"

"I take ballet you colossal nitwit! And I was putting the gun in the incinerator!" Gregory replied, with the windows down so they could get fresh air. "And slow down or we'll get pulled over."

Christophe slowed down, as they were rather far from the building anyway.

"So... About that... _thing_..."

Gregory looked out the window, unable to look at his friend.

"I panicked, alright? Nothing more."

"Right..." Christophe mumbled.

His attention was taken from the road as he heard the sound of a zipper. He glanced over to see Gregory taking off his dress in the god damn vehicle. He found himself idiotically staring at Gregory, as the tangerine mesh fabric slid from his shoulders and pooled around his waist. Christophe swallowed his own saliva as he took in the faint flush of blood against the perfect pale skin.

With a slap to his arm, Christophe snapped out of his trance just in time to swerve back into the lane, narrowly avoiding getting into a crash.

"Eyes on the road, you idiot!" Gregory scolded as he pulled his shirt and pants from the back seat.

"Sorry, sorry!" Christophe replied. He pulled over in the nearest empty lot while Greg changed out of the dress. He tried his best not to watch, but had the courage to steal a glance or two on occasion. Gregory buttoned up his shirt before tugging his pants on, struggling just a little. They were high-waisted skinny jeans after all.

"Need any assistance, princesse?" Christophe half-joked. Gregory glared at him, but shifted a little so Christophe could reach.

"If you could get my buttons done up for me, that would make up for you nearly getting us both killed." Gregory teased, leaning against his door and giving Christophe one of those challenging smirks. Christophe huffed indignantly and leaned over to button up his pants. There were five buttons, so Christophe got to pick his poison. Start nearest to the groin, or start from the top and slowly work down there. Either way, his hands would be near Gregory's ... privates, let's say.

Christophe chose to delay his panic and began from the top, with Gregory watching rather intently. Christophe took his time, but hurried with the last button.

"Thank you, darling." gregory sat back properly in his seat and buckled up as Christophe began to drive away, normally this time.

"Ouais, whatever." Christophe muttered.

* * *

Christophe laid in bed that night, staring at the ceiling with his cats Midnight, Graveyard, and Shovel all laying beside him. His mind wandered without him as he thought long and hard about the events of that day. Was he actually in love with Gregory or was he just desperate for some affection? Why the hell did he have to try so hard to not look at Gregory while he changed?

Meanwhile, Gregory was staying up with Blizzard II in his room. Blizzard II was a samoyed, who loved to listen to Gregory speak.

"And then he kissed me back!! Do you think he likes me that way?" Gregory whispered, despite the fact that he lived alone. Blizzard II just panted at the foot of the bed, tail wagging in delight at her owner.

"Yeah, you're right... He'd never just come right out and say it..." Gregory murmured, tugging the sheets up over his shoulders. She let out a soft woof at her owner before resting her muzzle on her paws.

"Goodnight, Lizzie." Gregory murmured.


	2. My oh my

Gregory sighed as he drove with Christophe to their next mission.

"Your music taste is absolute garbage." he chastised. He'd been the one driving since he deemed Christophe unfit. Christophe just scoffed at him.

"At least it isn't Marsh's band." 

"We do not speak of that man." Gregory snapped, infuriated.

"Right, right." Christophe flicked his wrist.

Gregory never really liked Stan. Not for any real reason, he just couldn't stand the guy. Probably out of sympathy hate for his cousin Wendy. After all, their final breakup was... less than amicable.

"But yes, at least it isn't his 'band'." Gregory made air quotes on the word band.

"Jealous, non?" Christophe teased, wiggling his brows at Gregory.

"Keep that up and when we get out of this car, I will punch you square in the nose." Gregory warned, sending a shiver down Christophe's spine and a pool of warmth to the frenchman's belly.

"Just kidding, just kidding." Christophe spoke softly, trying to keep his eyes on the road. Ever since that kiss last Friday, Christophe had been much more distracted by the blonde in general. He'd been noticing the slight pout of Gregory's lips, and how soft they'd looked. He certainly felt them well enough. His hair had the most dazzling shimmer of gold, and the curls were expertly maintained.

His eyes flicked down to see that, as always, Gregory never buttoned his shirt all the way up. He always left three or sometimes even four buttons undone. And Oh dear lord help Christophe's soul if he didn't want to just-

"MOLE!!!" 

Gregory's shout snapped Christophe back out of his daze.

"We're _here_." Gregory growled.

Oh shit, the car stopped moving...

Time to get to work...

* * *

Christophe had dug a tunnel underneath the base, and he and Gregory were down there together. The tunnel was small, but big enough for them to fit together. Gregory placed his hand on top of Christophe's, the frenchman very familiar with the leather. Yet the feeling of it against his hand now sent sparks up his arm...

He pulled his hand away in a rush, his cheeks burning bright red with embarrassment. Gregory stared at him with a confused expression, while Christophe just tried to cover up his panic by going to light a cigarette.

"Smoking? Down here? Are you serious?" Gregory sighed.

"Calms my nerves." Chris muttered.

"Christophe I am down here with you!" Gregory scolded, putting his hands on his hips.

Christophe just rolled his eyes and lit the cigarette anyway. Just play it cool and maybe this yearning would go away. Christophe nearly choked on his own spit as he felt Gregory's chest pressed against his. Gregory had snatched the cigarette away and put it out himself. Christophe stared down into those intense, dark amber eyes and felt like he could crumble under that gaze.

"You keep getting distracted." Gregory whispered. His tone had given his voice a soft rasp that Christophe usually had no reaction to, but now everything was just threatening to set Christophe's heart on fire with longing.

"What's wrong?" He asked, eyes half-closed in an attempt to seem far less threatening than he truly was. Christophe knew better than to submit to that expression, but he always did. Taylor and Jessica had affectionately dubbed it "The Eye trick". Gregory would give Christophe the sleepy eyed look, ask him something, and Christophe would instantly bend. Luckily, poor Mole wasn't alone. The Eye Trick was just something that couldn't be properly explained beyond Gregory simply being charming. Everyone who wasn't related to him fell for the trick. Nobody, even Gregory, was that much of a heart-throb.

"I... Well... It's nothing." Christophe muttered, trying to look away. He nearly swooned at the soft caress of leather against his skin as Gregory made Christophe look at him.

"This mission is dangerous. I can't have you getting distracted, darling."

And there it was. Round two of The Eye Trick. Gregory always took a different tone when he called someone Darling, depending on who they were. With Damien, it was light and affectionate, like a joke nickname. But with Christophe, Gregory's tone was low, sultry, and oh-so alluring.

"Ah, just...." Christophe sighed. " _Je te veux_ , angel..."

Much to Christophe's shock, that got a reaction. He could see the faint red against Gregory's cheeks, and heard his breath catch. He hadn't noticed it before, back when they...

"Whatever that was, just try not to think about it while we're in there." Gregory huffed, looking kind of embarrassed. He walked down the tunnel and climbed up into the building before Christophe could say a word.

Did... Gregory find french sexy?

* * *

And now, here they were. Christophe had sustained some injuries from the mission, and Gregory was sitting in his lap for some reason. Ease of access, he'd said, But Christophe was having a hard time keeping himself under the usual restraint. That damn rose scented perfume drove him crazy, and Gregory kept touching him without his gloves on, and-

"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Gregory joked.

Oh no.

Oh _god_ no.

Christophe looked at Gregory with such thinly veiled fear it got the blonde to laugh.

"Oh relax. I'm not angry. It's probably just leftover adrenaline." Gregory mused, playfully tossing his hair as Christophe swallowed dryly.

"Ah... right... _Adrénaline restante_..." Christophe repeated, speaking in french this time. He noticed gregory twitch, and just began rambling. No time like the present.

He talked and talked and talked until he felt a hand on his mouth. He looked at Gregory, who wasn't meeting his gaze at all. His breaths were shallow and laboured, and his face was a most adorable shade of pink.

"Are you aroused by french?" Christophe asked with a playful grin. Finally, it was Gregory's turn to panic. Gregory let out an indignant squeal as he leaned back, stumbling over his words to try and explain away his reaction.

"I- What!? Absolutely not you filthy rogue!!!" Gregory snapped, leaning back more and more as Christophe leaned forward, until finally his balance was thrown off and he fell off Christophe's lap, landing on his back against the carpet of his apartment. He glared up at Christophe, his flushed face and mussed blonde hair painting a very enticing picture. Christophe couldn't help but to lick his lips as he joined Greg on the carpet. He loomed over Greg with an uncontrollable grin, his hands on either side of Gregory's head.

"Come on, just admit it. You think this language is _très_ sexy." He teased, earning himself a slap on the shoulder.

"Off!" Gregory demanded, rather irate about the situation. Christophe sat up, with Greg following suit.

"Why would I find something I barely understand sexually appealing?" Gregory huffed while crossing his arms.

"Eh a lot of people who don't understand french find it sexy."

"Shut up, mole."


	3. Do you wanna ride?

No missions today, so Christophe had spent the night. He and Gregory had shared the bed as they always did, and it somehow wasn't awkward for them. Christophe felt comforted by the feeling of Gregory's arms around his waist, despite the fact that Gregory was a fucking twink. Christophe hummed softly as he woke up. Gregory was still asleep, with Blizzard II at the foot of the bed. 

Christophe didn't mind Lizz at all, as she was a very quiet dog who never really barked so much as she let out soft enunciated "woofs", so he just put up with her. Lizz got up and went to nuzzle Gregory awake. Gregory grumbled as Lizz continued to nuzzle him, and he finally sat up. 

"Mmh~ Good morning." Gregory murmured, his pretty curls making for the world's cutest bedhead. Christophe sat up with him and pulled Gregory into his lap for morning cuddles.

"Good morning, princesse." Christophe murmured back, with Lizz heading out of the bedroom to do something else.

Gregory yawned softly, with Christophe nuzzling into the space between Gregory's shoulder and jaw.

"Need coffee." Gregory grumbled, trapped in place by Christophe's hug.

"Non, stay here." Christophe mumbled.

"Tophe let me go we gotta wake up." Gregory sighed as he writhed around to try and make his escape. Christophe groaned and let Gregory go so they could get out of bed.

* * *

Gregory scritched Lizz behind her ears as she jumped up onto the couch to cuddle with him while Christophe clicked through the channels on TV. Settling on some bland show on HGTV, Christophe leaned on Greg's shoulder despite the bruise on his cheek from the night before. 

"This is trash." He grumbled, with Gregory clicking his tongue.

"You picked it out, _hurtyn._ " Gregory replied, with a rather playful tone. If he intended to actually insult Christophe, he'd do so in english, not in welsh. Christophe just responded with a gentle shove of Gregory's shoulder, with Lizz's tail beginning to wag in amusement. He yawned once more before laying on top of a rather compliant Lizz,burying his face into her neck fluff.

Gregory cooed at the precious scene and joined him in cuddling Lizz, who was more than happy to receive snuggles. Lizz shook her head trying to nuzzle them both at the same time.

* * *

Christophe sighed as he went to head home. He always liked staying with Gregory, but he had cats to dote on and all his supplies were at his apartment.

"Bye, Greg." Christophe said at the door, exchanging a hug with him.

"Goodbye, toffee." Gregory responded with a gentle voice, giving him a little squeeze before letting go of him. Gregory closed the door behind Christophe with a soft click, and just swooned over the arm of the couch, landing safely on the cushions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the only fluff chapter ya'll are getting.


	4. Bang, Bang, there goes your heart

Gregory had taken a quick moment to apply some lip gloss before they went in. Another day, another mission. This time they were assassinating an oil tycoon who'd caused about three oil spills in the past year. Christophe just watched him from the passenger seat, staring at his dress. This time it was less lavish, but still very nice. It was a sleeveless dress, with the bodice hung from the neck by a tangerine ribbon loop. Over the dress, Gregory was wearing a black cardigan. His boots were left at home, replaced with black 3-inch heels.

"So..." Christophe murmured, a little mesmerized by the sight of Gregory's bare thighs. "You uh... got your gun?" He asked, trying to stay focused.

"No, darling, I don't. I'm using the knife." Gregory replied, putting the gloss back in his pocket.

"Angel..." Christophe muttered, placing a hand on Gregory's thigh. Gregory looked up at Christophe, placing his own hand on top of the frenchman's.

"Yes?" His voice was soft, a weakening dam built to hold back every emotion he felt in that moment. Yearning, fear, hope... Christophe was the first to break and look away, taking his hand off Gregory's leg.

"Nuh... Nothing. Nevermind." He muttered. "Let's just go... do our job."

"Oh..." Gregory was a little disappointed, but let it go. "Alright then..." He said as they got out of the car. They headed inside, and waited to put their plan into action.

* * *

And then they didn't.

Something had gone wrong, and now they were hiding in a far too cramped broom closet. Gregory had his back pressed against Christophe's chest, and was writhing around to try and listen to the outside without knocking anything over. He didn't seem to notice the growing... issue... with this action, until he felt Christophe grab his waist.

"Gregory!" Christophe hissed, his grip almost bruising. "Quit fucking moving!"

"What? Why-" And then he felt it. "Oh... _oh_..." He whispered.

"Yeah." Christophe grumbled. His breath hitched as he felt Gregory press back against him.

"Well... when we get out of here..." Gregory whispered with a sly tone. "We can't have you in a state like this~"

Christophe's grip began to loosen as he felt Gregory wrap an arm around his neck. Chris dipped his head to bury his face into Gregory's neck, his hands sliding down to Gregory's thighs to hold him closer.

Christophe breathed a soft "Je te veux~" as he began to kiss the rose scented skin. He could feel the other's body warm up as he sighed in delight. Christophe pushed Gregory up against the door, slipping off the black cardigan and letting it drop to the floor. The heat in the room began to erase what little space it had as they pressed and slid and Christophe couldn't help himself but to give in to his hunger and bit into Gregory's neck. The noise that came out of the blonde was almost heavenly, and Christophe gripped his hands and began to kiss and suck where he'd made his mark.

"Oh~ Toffee..." Gregory whispered, leaning against the door to support himself as he allowed Christophe to press and grind and bite and _touch..._

 _"Beau... Un si beau repas~"_ Christophe whispered into Gregory's ear just before he bit down again to anchor himself while white-hot waves of ecstasy made him tremble. Gregory whimpered as the same sensation made his knees gave out, but he was kept in place by Christophe's desperation to keep hold of him. They stayed there, with laboured breath and the gentle buzz of the afterglow relaxing them of the situation they were in.

"Ah... do you... feel better?" Gregory asked as the feeling came back to his legs.

"Ouais..." Christophe responded, letting go of Gregory's waist.

"Good, I think we're safe to leave." Gregory said as he opened the door, grabbing his cardigan.

The two had failed their mission, but now they had other problems.

* * *

"Am I gay?"

Christophe asked Graveyard, who just stared at him with the world's most done cat expression. 

"No, Graveyard, I mean it! I- I really liked what we did in that closet... But like it wasn't supposed to be gay."

Dirt padded in to see what all the fuss was about. Graveyard meowed loudly at Christophe, who just sighed.

"Yes, yes I did orgasm, but so did he! Mutual busting of nuts!"

Graveyard meowed louder, and Christophe let out a gasp.

"Oh my god.... that makes it gay..."


	5. Taste of your lips, I'm on a ride

"YOU DID WHAT!?"

"Wendy shush, I have neighbors!" Gregory clapped a hand over his cousin's mouth, while Lizz just wagged her tail.

"Gregory what the hell!?" Wendy replied, with Bebe just watching from the couch. "You fucked Christophe in the closet!?"

"Well- Yes, but actually no!" Gregory gave vague gestures as he talked. "He didn't penetrate me if that's what you're asking."

"You let him _top!?"_ Wendy gasped.

"Woah, hey, in my defense we were crammed in that way." Gregory snipped, putting his hands on his waist.

Bebe piped up with "Babe, lay off the poor guy."

" _Thank you_ , Bebe!" Gregory nodded in her direction.

"Gregory you failed a mission and instead of bailing you fuck Christophe in the closet?" Wendy chided.

"Yeah, well, we had to hide in the closet in order to not get shot!" Gregory replied, crossing his arms. Bebe raised her hand and spoke up to halt the other two.

"Sugar, we're not here to slut-shame your cousin. We're here to give him advice."

"I like her. Marry her." Gregory muttered to Wendy, who just nodded in agreement. "I will."

"I'm just worried because I think Christophe may be straight." Gregory said, while Lizz just looked around at each person who spoke.

"... Is this what gifted child burnout looks like?" Wendy sighed while Bebe started laughing.

* * *

Meanwhile, Christophe had called a pair of his own friends.

Rowan chewed absentmindedly on the rubber tag on his necklace while Taylor listened to Christophe's story.

"So... what do you think?" Christophe asked while Dirt jumped into his lap.

Taylor stared at Christophe for a moment, yet not unblinking, when he finally spoke. "I think you're stupid."

Rowan continued to chew on the rubber tag, looking rather amused at his boyfriend's words. Christophe gave the fallen angel a venomous glare, as he'd called for help, not the routine dragging he usually got from Taylor despite Christophe outranking him.

"You honestly think that Gregory is straight? Have you ever seen him with a woman? No. But you, on the other hand, outrank me solely because you have Gregory's favor. You're the one he spends the most time with, and you two have so clearly been obsessed with eachother since you met that the thought of anyone else has routinely made him nauseous and anxious."

Christophe just looked off to the side and muttered a weak "But we're just friends though..."

_"MOLE!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late, and so short!


End file.
